After the holiday's passed it started to set in to all of us how lonely it was without Primo. He got locked up in jail due to his new baby's mama who would not put up with his shit. On Thanksgiving day papa wouldn't even show his face at the head of the dinner table because he was so depressed. Mama prepared a lovely dinner too. I wished Primo was there too.
I started writing him letter's building a strong bond spiritually and I started to feel more alive. I would sit in my kid's room writing and my toe's would curl as if I was a stupid little girl in love, and in a strange sense I was falling in love.
One day we had a barbecue over my in-laws house and they were drinking. It started to rain, but we still stayed in the pool and mama started crying. She was so depressed over losing her mom and not seeing her son for he was in jail. She would go to visit him all the time. It broke her heart though seeing him locked up like that. After we went back to the house it was just her and I, she told me about how she missed her son so and then she passed out. I told her, "No mamita, you can't go now Primo would never forgive himself." So I did everything I could to revive her, but she was unresponsive. I rolled her onto the bed and called 911. They told me to check her pulse, but I did not feel one so they told me 2 get her down to the floor to perform CPR. I tried but she was too heavy and then Papa and Saul came home they helped me and were in a state of confusion as I started chest compressions. As soon as I gave her mouth to mouth she gasped for air and came to. Then the paramedics arrived to take over.
I know I saved her life and that she had a stroke for when we arrived at the hospital the whole left side of her face was sagging. It is funny how papa and Saul could not believe it. Had I not of been there my mother in-law would have been dead. She told me that she had a dream that Primo was following her.
I told her, "That is probably why it is not your time because if you were to go Primo would follow you. He is not strong enough yet to handle your death and you know this. That is why it is not your time, but I promise you mama when it is time I will do my best to look after both of your sons."
I really meant every word from the bottom of my heart and I still do. They will always be family to me. Even after they did me dirty I still consider them my family.
I also told papa the same thing, whether or not he understood or believed me I don't know because he was drunk. I told him that he should love both of his sons equally. That they both deserve and need his love and that if he was to run for governor in his country that I would support him and live there if he wanted me to. I would have done anything for my daddy for he was the only daddy in my life that ever showed me love. They were my parents to and if they needed me to care for them towards the end I would've done it. Then they turned their backs on me and kept me from my kid's.
You won't allow me to hug my kid's and let me tell them I love them? Really?
Goes to show how deceitful family can be. If you can't count on your family. Who can you count on?
I also told papa the same thing, whether or not he understood or believed me I don't know because he was drunk. I told him that he should love both of his sons equally. That they both deserve and need his love and that if he was to run for governor in his country that I would support him and live there if he wanted me to. I would have done anything for my daddy for he was the only daddy in my life that ever showed me love. They were my parents to and if they needed me to care for them towards the end I would've done it. Then they turned their backs on me and kept me from my kid's.
You won't allow me to hug my kid's and let me tell them I love them? Really?
Goes to show how deceitful family can be. If you can't count on your family. Who can you count on?
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