09/01/2009- Present Day
Keep reading for more current detail's of recent events for this is where the story becomes very twisted and unsettling.
You see human beings do not seem to operate the way they used to 20 years ago, a lot has changed. The laws have changed. We have changed as people in abiding in them, and the power's that be have lost their honor in upholding those laws, so many have taken it upon themselves now to rise above the law to protect themselves. While some, may use the law to bully innocents unlawfully knowing they can't afford to defend themselves, and even if they could many lawyer's would just take their barely earned money blowing over the whole case and not defending shit.
Justice has become an absurd joke, that's what I think about the law now. Sorry, but in my experience I have not seen it do anybody any justice thus far. Unfortunately, because I was wrongfully prosecuted myself and defenseless. I had to sit through many court proceedings. I think only two seemed fair and just, but in all honesty I feel it is the devil's advocates trap.
Thou shall not judge, only GOD. No one can tell ME otherwise. That's my take on it, you can think what you want.
I am a United States citizen, and a registered voter, born and raised in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, which is my national origin. I was residing in Pinellas County FL. for 8 years, and I am well aware that my civil rights have been violated since I have resided in Pinellas County due to my national origin, born up north, and my disability.
First, I have not been able to keep a job in Florida due to my disability, and the fact this is an at will state. No job I have had, and I have been terminated from 8 job's now, have been willing to make any accommodations for my learning disability or chronic health conditions.
The State of Florida has denied me disability and health insurance, basically forcing me to leave my kid's and the State to get my health care need's met. This has isolated me from the only two people that I once believed loved me still and caused me much emotional distress. My nuerologist claims due to this seperation and alienation brought on an increase of stress and seizure disorder that landed me in the Tampa General Hospital and $9,000 in Medical bill's.
I asked my nuerologist, "Is it a possibility that the seizures could be caused by excessive punches to the skull (Domestic Violence)?" My doctor claims, that yes this most certainly can be what caused the concussion, seizure episodes, syncope, memory loss, imbalance, and ringing in the ears. My other question was, "So say if someone just discovered all this about themselves after a seizure episode due to false accusations. Could she use in her defense that she was struggling with battered women syndrome and being treated for a seizure disorder as a result of domestic abuse?"
Bea told the doctor, "Listen Doc, I'm far from crazy. If I was able to attain an AA in Early Childhood Education and a BA in Social Science and Education and raise a baby in less than 8 year's with a gpa of 3.4. I think I have a high functional brain up there. It just got kind of screwed up after I married Saul. Things started to fall apart again, like it did at the beginning of our relationship. We hit another rough patch."
I should have known better. The pattern of alcohol and abuse doesn't end with the Sanchez's. Actually one thing for sure is it get's worse. I was becoming scared of where it was bound to escalate to next. Let me tell you. The worst was yet to come.
Even after I attained my two College degree's Saul loved to throw it in my face,
"See B, all that for what? You still can't get a good paying job."
It must have made him feel so high and mighty to make my accomplishments seem so weak and small. I hate to admit it but he was right. I couldn't attain a good paying job in my field due to my chronic health condition's.
I had another Grand Mal Seizure in the middle of the Steak N Shake Parking lot.
I fell down like a sack of potatoes off the side of my car. Hit the back of my head, fractured my right ankle, and bit my lip. My mom saw me convulsing for a few minute's and when I came to I had slight amnesia. Scary shit!
Another time I woke up and I could not move at all. I thought I was going to stay paralyzed forever and I started panicking, these Epileptic episodes alone have really messed with my head. It has taken some getting used to my new life without any support.
I really need a friend to take care of me, but there has not been any volunteers to come forward on my behalf. No one will even step up so I can visit with my kid's. Which allows me to believe that I have no one who loves me in the end.
I fear that I am going to end up one of those people sitting in a hospital bed who no one comes to visit, till I will wither away. That's MY reality now. I am vulnerable and scared out of my wits that someday I will all together forget who I am, and that I even have a family.
Maybe that would be good for me? Wipe out all the pain I endure on a daily basis over the loss of my loved one's abandoning me. I would much rather forget who I am then deal with the reality of what has become of me.
GOD please take away the pain. I wish to be numb.
I went before a judge in January 2015. He denied me disability knowing I had suffered a traumatic crisis. Since then I have suffered other head injuries and epileptic episodes.
I was advised by a Nueroligist in 2015 not to drive, even though it has been past six month's since my last episode I still stay off the road for now.
I really do think it is disgraceful that I do not get honored disability for if I did I would not be struggling so damn hard to survive in the situation I find myself in now. Maybe if I had, I would get ahead and feel like I belong instead of feeling like this world was not meant for a loving heart like mine.
Society has been chipping away at my heart bit by bit trying to turn me into freezing cold ice, but my tears continue to melt the ice away. The judge abstains from showing any emotion but if I spend one minute longer trying to suppress the longing, fear, agony, and pain I have been bottling up for the past 12 years I know I am liable to snap my humanity switch off and not give a fuck about anything anymore.
This blog is my outlet right now. I am praying that the truth will set us free. Free from the bond's we enslave ourselves in. The bond's of love, life, death, and humanity.
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