Chapter 13 - Hello?

5/13/2001

I was old enough now to go on my own and get some answers to all the questions I had about my father. Like what his real name was and where to find him. I asked Brie and she put it bluntly that I should leave well enough alone. He now may be shacked up with a girl named Bea somewhere out in California.

At a family function one night somebody approached me asking me if I was Ed's daughter. They said I looked like him and confirmed his whereabouts and that I could find him out in Long Beach. So I did a U.S. search and sure enough I got a match out in Long Beach, California. I headed out there to see what I could sniff out. As I walked up to the apartment I got so nervous thinking about what I was gonna say. My palms got all sweaty and I almost chickened out. As I approached the door I saw an eviction notice with Fred's name on it. I looked through the windows and the apartment appeared to be empty. I was too late, and I left a letter and came to the conclusion that he was a runner who is always running away from his responsibilities and that he must not want to be found.

I started working out in L.A. pursuing my dream to become an actress. I went to many auditions, and started working at a disco place. I wasn't taking off my clothes, but the job seemed even more degrading because it was run by Iraqi people, but I needed the money to get back to MA where I was from. A terrible accident happened back home. My ten year old cousin and two other children were ejected out of the hatchback of an SUV and died because they were not wearing their seat belts. My nana also found out she was diagnosed with colon cancer. I sensed my family needed me, so I headed back to MASS. Brie moved on quick she got married, divorced, and married again by now. She was always changing. I never knew who she was going to be next.

I decided to go back to school to become a teacher, and take care of my nana. It was great, like we were two peas in a pod again. I helped her with her dressings and wounds and she made me breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Every morning we ate our oatmeal and cinnamon raisin toast bread with extra butter and a cup of tea, I remember it like it was yesterday. I miss that. I started working at a place called the Green Street Bar N' Grill. When I was a kid I used to walk by it everyday and admire the musicians that would play and I fell in love with jazz from the moment I was introduced to it, and I said to myself when I got older I would work there. Sure enough I did.

Today I walked in with my chin held high and walked out as a cocktail waitress. So I went to school, worked full-time as a daycare teacher, and part time as a cocktail waitress and cared for my nana. I kept busy, I was a young twenty-four, so I could handle that sort of thing. I had Ed's mom that lived in the same building as my nana, but she would just avoid me. One day I met Ed's sister Aunt Dee who was a lesbian, who straight out said to me, "Leave my mother alone. She don't want nothing to do with you or Ed." I told Aunt Dee, "Listen, I don't even know the guy, but that is fine."