12-15-2014
At this point in
time we decided to move in with Missy due to health issues in our last
apartment and rental problems. Missy and Saul were having arguments as well,
but as long as he gave her money she seemed to get over it. Missy was all about
her money. She liked to be up in the middle of our relationship too, which I
did not like. Ever since that time I ended up in the hospital it seemed like
Missy and Saul had a secret agenda behind my back. Now I feel like I know
exactly what that agenda was. I always thought they were having an affair, but I
didn't care. I didn't care about Saul’s affairs anymore. I had fallen out of
love with him.
The holidays were
approaching so that meant Saul was starting to drink more often. There was this
night in particular right before Christmas Saul came home from work early
already intoxicated. I asked him if he lost his job. He just boasted that they
had a party at work and everybody got to go home early. He was being a jerk
about me questioning him. I told him, "listen I am your wife, don't you
think I have a right to know?" Saul was quite a spit fire, in a fit he
ended up putting a hole in the wall.
I walked away from
him to deescalate the situation and he follows me. The baby begins to cry
because of all the yelling and Saul picks up my two year old baby by the head
of his hair. My poor baby lets out a blood curdling scream which I can hear
throughout my nightmares. My baby is scared of his father.
I snap and attack my
husband to defend my baby,
"Put him down, he is just a baby, you’re
hurting him."
Saul pushes me back against the bunk bed and starts pounding
me in the head with his fists. I do my best to protect myself by clawing my
nails into him, but I am not a man I have no control. My oldest son jumps on
Saul to try and protect me as my son is thrown into the dresser breaking it.
That's when Saul stopped and saw the destruction he caused. It was like history
repeating itself and he doesn't even know what is happening. That's when I knew
we have to get out of here.
I scooped up my
crying baby in my arms as he was clinging tightly to my chest I was telling
him,
"Shhhh…..Its ok baby, mommy is going to get us out of here."
I
didn't think twice about grabbing a thing, not even shoes. I just wanted to
remove my child from any danger so I stepped outside while the pavement was
cold and wet I was barefoot. The rain was trickling down as I fastened my baby
in his car seat and I entered my vehicle, finally a moment of silence. I started
to think, what do I need? That way I zone in and get what I need as to avoid
him then get out. The baby needs a bottle, blanket, so he is comfortable and
first I need to check on my other son to make sure he is ok, my phone, my
purse, and my keys.
I go in and see
that he is talking with my son so I take this quick opportunity to grab all the
things I need. First the bottle, blanket, and go back out to the car. The baby
is ok I give him the bottle and blanket. Then I check my purse. Where is my
phone and keys? He took them. That bastard is keeping us against our will.
Where is the key? I didn't want to jump to conclusions but I know I had them
both in my purse. I had to go back in to find them.
As I went back in
I had a good look around the whole house. I tore the place apart and all of a
sudden an anxiety attack started to set in. I confronted Saul and he had Pat in
his arms acting like nothing ever happened.
I asked Pat, "Are you all
right baby?"
Pat shook his head.
I said, "come here."
I looked him over
real quick to make sure he wasn't bleeding, he had a huge bruise on his back,
then I told him to go out to the car with his brother.
I asked Saul,
"Where are my keys? I know you hid them give them to me now."
Saul
just pretended like he didn't know what I was talking about and helped me look
for them. As we both searched the house he asked me what was wrong and I told
him that if he did not find my keys that he was going to be the one leaving once I called the police.
He didn't seem to
understand.
I told him again. "If you don't give me my phone and key's
immediately I am kicking you out for good. I can't live like this anymore. You
want to take your aggression out on these kids you have another thing coming.
Don't you dare even go where they’re? You know what! Just get the fuck out!"
So Saul left, but
before he did I found my stuff after he planted it.
12/25/2014
That Christmas was
so refreshing. It was the first one that was all about the kid's opening their
gifts and having fun. Nobody was drinking or being loud and stupid for once. It
was peaceful and cheerful. Everyone was happy. No Saul. Granted I haven't spent
the past two Christmas's with my boys but at least the last one I did spend
with them I know we will never forget because I made sure that it was extra
special just for my boys. No one was going to ruin our Christmas this year my
loves, especially not Saul.
Pat wore Oscar the
grouch pj's and Jr kept trying to eat the tootsie rolls with the wrappers on. I
even had on a pj set. We all did. Jr loved his bike helmet so much he didn't
want to take it off. It was a project trying to teach him how to open gifts. He
really didn't get it. He was only two years old but it was hilariousness when
Pat scared him with the dinosaur he got. We all laughed. Pat is such an awesome
older brother. I wonder if Jr still follows him around like he used to? I miss
my boys. I don't even know anything about them now thanks to Saul and DCF.
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